Anonymous asked: Your a very inspirational person. I hope you do great in your life.
Thank you anonymous person, that means a lot to me!
Thank you anonymous person, that means a lot to me!
Thank you! I’m so happy you are enjoying my blog. I make an effort to share my actual experiences instead of just reblogging pictures. I will check out your blog as well!
I almost did it! 3.03 miles, which is just 0.15 km away from 5 km! I was actually jogging the whole way too, which is really exciting for me. I reduced my speed by a lot, though, running an average 13 minute mile, but after I accomplish my distance goal I can start working on a speed goal.
So, after a few people telling me I’m crazy…while I didn’t expect any less from announcing I won’t be eating food for a few days, I am finally sitting here eating an apple and I feel like a million bucks.
Day one and two of my juice fast were incredibly difficult, at one point day two I felt like I was going to pass out and I wasn’t really sure why I was doing this fast in the first place. Was it to cleanse? Lose weight? Who knows why, but deep down I felt it was a splendid idea. Although I feel slimmer I haven’t lost that much weight in kilos or pounds, but I surely feel like my body is healthier and my mind has lost weight, figurativly speaking. Day three I didn’t even think about food at all, and today I woke up feeling alive. I mean really, vitality came soaring through my body the second I woke up. I fell asleep last night at 11, which is weird for me considering I normally sleep at 8 am. No, last night I couldn’t keep my eyes open at 11. I tried to force myself to stay up because I knew I would wake up at 4 wide awake and I would mess up my whole night of sleep. I woke up at 11 am with my glasses still on and everything on my bed but the only difference was that I slept through the whole night without waking up and I literally woke up feeling like I’ve caught up on all the sleep I’ve been needing for the last six months.
I am honestly attributing this glorious sleep to my juice fast. Needless to be said, this is the best apple I’ve ever eaten.
Not only have I been fasting from food, but for a long time I feel like I’ve been fasting from the daytime! I haven’t seen the sun in a long time and not only did I happen to wake up refreshed at 11 am, but it happened to be on the sunniest day Paris and its bordering cities has seen in a long, long time. Not to mention I usually sleep through the day if there happens to be a nice one. I am appreciating this sunlight just as much as I am appreciating this apple.
I’m being rendered absolutely overjoyed by eating and apple and seeing the sun. Talk about appreciating the simple things in life! How can I keep this feeling going? That’s whats important, that’s what this fast was all about. It was just as much a mental cleansing as a physical one. The work will be to keep this feeling of appreciation forever.
Is it even possible to actually dress nicely in the winter? I mean, I know there’s all these pictures circulating the internet of girls in their nice cardigans and tiny scarves, but are cute winter clothes only designated for Californians, with 66°F (23°C) “winters”? You might consider the only thing winter-worthy about a winter in southern California is that the trees don’t have leaves anymore and the bears are hibernating.
But seriously, what about people who have winters in places like Paris, or even colder, more northern regions? I’ve been trying to find pictures of stylish winter outfits, and they would all render me cold in the end. Do you seriously expect me to wear a skirt and one pair of tights when its -7 outside? Sure it’s cute and “wintery” but the only way I feel comfortable going outside is wearing half my wardrobe of sweaters, three pairs of tights under my pants, and the scarf my grandma knit wrapped around my neck at least five times, I’m talking watertight here.
So maybe it’s just my inability to give up comfort for style. My attempt to wear heels more often than once every two months is finally starting to be put into action. If I don’t need to, I will not get out of my pajamas until it’s time to go to work. And I still refuse to spend more than 5-10 minutes on makeup. I find it sufficient. Maybe part of the winter “style” like the rest of feminine style is to give up my comfort of warmth, to wear pseudo-winter clothes which actually do not keep you safe against winter at all, but just make you look cute. I understand now. Unless I eventually find any better suggestions on the internet, I guess I will continue to wear all of my clothes when I go outside!
So here I am, changing the theme of my blog again (big surprise guys, I know.)
The truth is that I wasn’t extremely interested in my last theme because essentially, I was preaching ways to be somebody that you’re not to find love, which doesn’t make any sense at all. You’ll never find somebody who truly loves you unless you are completely yourself. I’m not saying that you should not make great efforts to better yourself, but I don’t think that’s exactly what my last theme was reflecting.
Anyways, now I’m on the search to better myself, and am kind of just using this blog to sort out my thinking.
I’ve decided to postpone my applications to graduate school. I know there’s that pattern of people “postponing” graduate school and actually never going back, but hear me out. I don’t consider myself one of the statistics.
What I’m about to say might contradict that last statement. I’ve finally switched my mode of thinking from adolescent to “emerging adult.” Psychologists describe adolescents as having this type of fantasy that nothing can happen to them, the “I don’t apply to the statistics” kind of attitude. The idea that you can do whatever yet still achieve your ideal self. That was me; maybe it still is me, a little. I felt like I should be able to control everything about myself; that is — without even trying!
Recently, I’ve had an epiphany. You can’t be your ideal self if you don’t know your current self to begin with. It’s like asking directions in a GPS when you don’t even know your current location. How do you know which direction to turn? With this in mind, I calmed down my hopes to become my “ideal self” to find out who my “current self” is in the first place. What do I actually have the ability to do? What parts of me can I actually NOT control? I learned a few things about myself.
If given the chance, my current self will:
Ok, so what does this sound like? It sounds like a typical lazy couch potato with no ambition to me. Somehow I thought that one day, when I turned into a “grown up”, motivation and ambition might magically appear in my brain; I thought I’d never have to control my temptations and desires but maybe one day they would just go away.
The longer time passed, the more it bothered me that these magic things haven’t appeared yet. I’m wasting time here! I told my ideal self. Get over here already!
It reminds me of the joke where the guy keeps asking God if he could win the lottery. God says yes, of course. A week later the man asks God why he hasn’t won the lottery yet. God tells him “you will win the lottery, once you play!”
So it turns out I have to actually start doing things I think my ideal, future self will be used to doing. Exercising, reading political and cultural blogs instead of spending time on facebook, writing, waking up early (as in 2 p.m. instead of 5 p.m., give me a break, I work nights!), etc.
So back to my statement of postponing graduate school. Deep inside, I feel that I will definitely go back, even if I postpone another year. Is that my adolescent mind talking? I don’t think so. The reason I came to this conclusion is when I was in the middle of reading my “how to get into graduate school” books and it said you should name the authors who most inspired your intellectual reasoning.
"Okay," I thought… "What authors have made me feel the most passionate?"
Well, for one, J.K. Rowling made me feel really passionate about Gryffindor and bringing He Who Shall Not Be Named down so that Harry and and the ginger girl could live in peace and bring more wizard children to the world.
THAT will sound great on my application! No, I realized, the only authors in this field I might read are those I forced myself to read to sound like I was knowledgable on the topic. I never actually sought out books or articles to read on that topic.
I’m back to square one.
Graduate school requires passion. I want to love my future field so much that I can be the best at it. Part of getting to know my current self was learning that if I don’t love what I’m doing, no matter how important, I WILL half-ass it.
I don’t want to half ass my career. I want to be the best. However, you can’t rush perfection. And I understand that I can’t sit around and hope that my dream career will suddenly pop into my head.
So I’ve switched to the active approach. Reading, reading, reading. That’s the only solution I could find. I’m reading blogs and articles and books from all subjects, political, cultural, humanitary, etc. I’m guessing that somewhere along the line, there’s going to be a topic I want to keep reading about, maybe even start writing about!
Well see how this goes. At least I’m only 22!
Some Buddhists praise peacocks for having poisonous plants as a part of their diets- for being able to thrive in the face of suffering.
It’s extremely valuable in life to embrace difficult circumstances. Loneliness, poverty, loss of loved ones— all these things develop character and strength.
While I’ve only been gone for four or five days, leaving my friends and family behind has been one of the most difficult choices I’ve had to make. However, the change in lifestyle and the sudden stop of socializing has allowed me time to grow, even in the short amount of time.
I suddenly have found the time for things I’ve been meaning to do but replacing the time to spend with my loved ones.
I started working on my Spanish and French, since I’ve been using the time I usually spend out having fun to practice for several hours a night/day. Although trivial, I’ve been able to start catching up on the TV shows I’ve been meaning to watch or read the books I’ve been wanting to catch up on. Sometimes you have to give up leisure for extra time to work on yourself. I was so lost in the commotion of fun I didn’t even know who my ideal self was or what I needed to work on.
I guess this alone time is my only opportunity to thrive in the face of “suffering”, this suffering which I dub as loneliness.
I still am not completely alone, while I’m living with my mother and grandmother, but soon enough I will be all on my own, and I’ll embrace that time to become the person I’ve been intending on becoming.
One could argue that the United States of America is guilty of being one of the most sexually confusing places in the world. Sex here is portrayed with mixed messages. First of all, sex is one of the most fundamental factors of human biology and psychology. Necessary to keep the human species alive, it is programmed in everybody’s brain. All evolutionary processes eventually lead to one main purpose- staying alive and reproduction. Henceforth, all of the things humans have evolved into (our emotional selves, our intellectual selves, etc.) have somehow been derived from the evolutionary attempt to keep the species alive through reproduction.
With that being said, it is arguable that the human species has risen above its primitive impulses to have huge amounts of sex and spread genetic variability across its peoples. Humans do have more abstract and existential ambitions rather than only having the ambition to have sex and keep the species alive. That’s what makes us different from other animals. We have society to guide us. So despite the biological drive towards having a lot of sex, society also tells us that sex is very enjoyable. Sex is great, people (mostly men, of course), are praised for having a lot of sex. The media practically praises sex and parades it as being one of the best parts of life. Even most of men’s cologne or deodorant commercials are portrayed in a way that shows using the product will result in more sex. Sex is “cool” and “fun”.
So far, we have two green lights for having a lot of sex. However, the next thing that separates us from animals is religion and morals. America, while telling us that sex is cool and fun, also tells us that promiscuity is morally unsound. Even though we see sex as something we should be having, the other voice says we should not. Men who think about sex all the time and somehow manage to get a sexual innuendo out of any situation are considered perverts. Openly sexually active women are shunned and stigmatized. Only monogamous sex is free from most stigma, and even then, some occasions are ostracized for being out of wedlock. “Perverts” and “sluts” are really low in the social hierarchy, even if said people have other qualities that could even them out.
So which one is correct? Why does America confuse us like this? Is it wild and savage to submit to our biological drives? Should we be “better” than that and save it for love? Or is submitting to the societal rules make us like ants blindly following what is supposed to be right and wrong. Why is sex both a bad and good thing?